You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
