Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Threesome in a minivan. New low
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Randomize
