so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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