I'm gonna have a badass scar
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
