I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
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