I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
