Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
Randomize
