Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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