matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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