I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
