It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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