Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
