just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
