Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
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