and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Randomize
