I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
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