I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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