Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
