I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
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