The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
