the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
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