I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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