Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
