escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
