Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize