The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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