The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Randomize
