"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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