thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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