just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
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