My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Couch. On fire.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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