there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Randomize
