Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
