i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
