She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
