why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize