They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
