Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
