Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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