I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
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