Sry I called you an 8
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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