Can i not drive my cunt home
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I need to sanitize my soul.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
