their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
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