Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
