People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize
