She's JV to your varsity
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Randomize
