Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
be right there i have to get my cape
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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