She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
