Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize