awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
