He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
