Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
