i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
