There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
