her vagine was all disorganized.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
