PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize