I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
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