The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
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