So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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