her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
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