he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
