I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Randomize
