I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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