fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
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