You work out of a Hotel?
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I CAN MOONWALK!
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
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