happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
