Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
