I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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