no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
you guys were way drunker than both of me
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I haven't been this sober since birth.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Randomize
