# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Screwed.edu
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
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