I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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