I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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