you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
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