Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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