Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
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