Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
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