did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
