i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Ladies don't puke and tell
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Randomize