I heard we made out
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
