How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
